Saturday, February 19, 2011

The Anticipation has killed me

Hi, so  I've been wanting to do this for soo long now and everytime i start to think about where do i start or what do i say i freak out. So I'm just going to tell about me and my little family. My name is Jade, ill be 25 this year but i feel like im 85, i say this as a joke but i really feel so much older than what i am. I started going back to school in 09' part time. im still a long ways from graduating but i enjoy going to school and the socialization i get there. Minus the dual enrollment kids. something about these 17 -18 year olds that seem so cocky and fearless that it almost makes me mad that i dont have that anymore. like its been stolen from me. ok so this semester i thought itd EASY to take spanish 3 , ASL1, and Statistics ONLINE. what i forgot was with the languages i have to basically live at the school and stats online doesnt give notes or anything heres the book and test and GO... so im really stuggling with all of them, and not really giving any of them the attention they need. Sigh, ill get back to that though. In April I will be married 3 years, to the most perfect guy for me. i vent a lot about him but all in all he loves me and doesnt do anything intenenally to hurt me. July will make 3 years of being a mom, which is the most painfully incridible story of my life and me. and i will also get to that in due time, not trying to ruin a good day ! I also just ( well New years Eve) found out im expecting my second child, this one will be a boy, im so thankful for him. This pregnancy has so far been 180 from Corols pregnancy. Oh and i have a past, a history so to speak, which i dont mind talking about because its not who i am today , and if i knew at 18 what i know now , HA story of my life, then i would be able to do whatever job i wish and wouldnt have a PERMINATE RECORD, those things are true BTW kids. dont skrew up your life for a POS guy. note to self back then. oh well, i wouldnt really change everything that happened though, i was in a work realese program for 9 months which saved me , it taught me the things i needed to know on how to be a succesfull adult with out drugs. and how to form meaningfull relationships with out drugs. i also did 3 out of 4 years probation, i was terminated early due to good behavior and the fact i had a very sick child. Its funny how you find out who your true friends are, the most recent tragidy in our life has really shown me that just because the friends seem most forefront doesnt mean they have the best of intentions, or will always be there. ok i have a lot more to tell you but i just feel like my brain is jumping around, and i really dont want to get into the sad stuff just yet so i leave on this note, thanks for whoever is listening out there!~

2 comments:

  1. I am so glad you started a blog. You will find it can be wonderful, hard and very rewarding. When are we going to get together?

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  2. It takes courage to write about life with it's joys and sorrows. So proud of you! I look forward to reading more. Love to you.

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