Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Its been a while! Twilight, Baby,

Ok, So , I know I have so much to say first ill do the lite hearted part :) 
     Since the baby has been home I was brought the first Twilight book to try to read... I like the movies ( they put me to sleep when im having issues lol) but i always felt like i was missing something BIG when it came to Jacob and Bella's story, it feels like in the movies all of a sudden she goes from obsessing over Edward to saying I love you to Jacob. The last book i was able to really read was the Harry Potter series. and that was a few years ago, i must admit i haven't found anything that has drug me in. I have received several grief books though and i want to read them, but i don't want to be sad. So i will get there. Any-who, my ...aunt-in-law (i guess) came over and i had happened to put on the twilight movie for back ground noise and found out her view on the movie verses the book, i told her that i felt like i was truly missing something, huge, and might be interested in reading the book, SOMEDAY, haha... well she then brought me the first book this was 2 weeks ago,i tried to start it but as most books go the start was putting me to sleep. not to mention i had a very new born in the house. I told my therapist it must just be a horrible time to start a book since when ever i did read i passed right out. She reminded me that i needed that since i have troubles sleeping... DING Ding DING  light-bulb haha so i started to read.. and then it became obsessive i would get upset for falling asleep. i probably fully got into reading it Thursday of last week. And i finished the first book tonight, tomorrow i have the second book coming i finished a day early for my plans :) Wow i was right, mind you the first book doesn't get too much into the Jacob character but her flirting and such that i hadn't i guess understood from the movie. the details were fabulous though. i guess so much that the actors tried to portray threw their eyes was fully explained.. Loved it! I cant wait to start the next book! Reading has pulled me away from this horrible beast called technology... I haven't been on the computer hardly at all. And i have to re-watch my tv shows and FORCE myself to pay attention since my mind wonders into this fictional world.  I can say i am VERY happy that i watched the movies before reading the book though, i would be soo  disappointed by the movie, but since i did it in reverse i feel its made it easier for me to connect things, for a first book to get back into reading having the characters all in my head all ready did good for me!
     Nextly I guess i should start and say, Yup obviously Im no longer pregnant ( havent you been reading :) !!) On 7-7, by scheduled C Section baby boy CJ was born! i got there ( to the hospital ) at about 4:45 am , went and by 7 they were walking me to OR, to get my spinal block done. I vaguely remember when i got my spinal done for Corol. but they didnt do it in the OR... So they had me sit on the edge of this ITTY BITTY gurney i honestly couldnt forsee my fat ass fitting on this table. but they had the table about 4 feet in the air i had to use a step stool to get on and my feet unconfortably hanging, and i assumed the position hunched over to expose my spine the best that i could with this basketball baby on me, and my neck problems. The guy kept say to push into him, so i did, for 45 mins! i pushed against him for so long when i tried to push harder my muscles SHOOK you know like if you hold a push up for to long. the guy poked me SO many times , now ive have had epidurals done for back pain about 2 years ago the last one finally worked. and this guy was hitting my BONES and making me JUMP finally towards the end of his 45 min run of poking me and breaking a needle in my back, he started to ask where i was feeling him poke.. he kept asking if it was on my left side i was just like UMM NOOO its about as FAR right as possible, any further to the right and hed be in my kidney! (ok slight exaggeration but you get it) So i was so embarrassed right my Wonderful Dr whom has caudaled me through this pregnancy was in the room watching waiting, this is after he had told me he had a delivery at 3 am and was Exhausted ... :/ so they bring in the next guy to do the block 2 trys and he was in, whew i should of gave up trying a while before. So while im on the table im totally calm, it was a GREAT experience, when i started to feel nausous i told the anesthesiologist and he gave me something and i was able to laugh and talk to Dj the entire time! The worst part of that was probably when i could SMELL them cutting me... Now i know what Dj was talking about when he said C sections STINK!
    WHile i was in recovery they brought me little Colt, they said his blood sugar was low so i needed to breastfeed right then within 10 mins ... so there i was trying to manipulate my newborn baby with an iv draped across me in one are and the next had a BP cuff going off every 5 mins. i was needless to say frustrated. i gave up and was just like give him a bottle. well i think all the futzing around with him stressed him out some because next thing i knew they came to me saying he was breathing quickly and was headed down to NICU to be watched... Ok , i had prepared myself for this. and i was totally OK. Then 7 pm comes and im greeted by 2 nurses, my nurse, and the Neonatologist. Telling me Colton has had a SIEZURE, they wernt sure what happened exactly but were glad they all were right by him working on another baby when it had happened. then they said that they were thinking he had a brain bleed. thats when i became UNGLUED. i was histericle in all sense of the word. All that was going through my head was im really going to lose both my babies to brain bleeds. what did i do SO wrong in this life! when Dj took me down to see him with his Cpap on i became histericle again!. I just could NOT hold it together. I was so calm and collected with Corol. but here i was needing my husband to litterally Hold me up. Hes great BTW. So ill get into the Nicu stuff some other day, no need to get all mad now. ill just say after fighting them he came home with in 8 days. 
  Hes now almosst 4 weeks old :) were geting into a rutine, hes totally different from Corol. i was very blessed with her. Hes very Clingy. and he has reflux,  which makes him fussy, i finally got a brest shield and was able to get him to stay on the boob, he was breastfeeding most night feedings, but he was starting to want to eat every 1.5 hrs and still throwing up ALOT, i decided to try to add formula to his bottle feeds ( and we switched bottles to the BreastFlow) and he was doing better in between feeds but still throwing up! 24 hrs ago i started him on Similac Senistive its suposed to be similar to Soy, ( i hate soy so i wanted to try this one before jumping from a milk based formula) and in 24 hrs he has be 20times calmer,.. my plan is to try to limit my dairy intake ( cheese is very hard for me to exclude though) and to reintroduce some of my milk slowly after 3 days... that way i can try to get him back to the breast as quickly as possible...if possible. Ive only had one freak out moment with him, he features are similar to Corols exceot his head is a defferent shape so he does always look like her but sometimes he does. i had him in the bassinet next to my bed, and well when id walk past it, at times when he was straight on his back.. he looks like coroldid in her Coffin.. luckily i can slide him his side and it changes his face a where i can atleast not get sad... All around hes been such a blessing to have.. i love him soo much and he does make me happy. even if i dont get to sleep :) 
Ok well i wsa going to tell you about our trip to orlando but didnt relieze how chatty i was tonight , so those of you that made it this far Thanks for reading :)